Add the fact that college campuses have become meat markets, that internet exposure means we\’re becoming sexually more mature much earlier in life (yet we\’re getting married and having babies later than ever) and what are we left with? Huge numbers of sexually active young women who are not socially ready to \”settle down\”. To put it simply: who needs to the bother of a live-in lover? We have careers, social lives and sexual needs. Love is built on years of struggle, on compromise and discussion and dead-ends from which you claw your way out. I don\’t have time for all that. Being someone\’s mistress, on the other hand, offers a relationship that s physically gratifying and fulfils a number of emotional needs, minus the messy reality of sharing a life with someone. Giving up the privileges of marriage but maintaining all the charm of convinient non-commitment? That\’s a deal a lot of young women are willing to strike. Convenient is an ugly word, isn\’t it? But I reckon many women don\’t need a man full time. What\’s more, they don\’t appear to want one.
I\’ll leave you with the comments I gleaned from speaking to some of my twenty-something peers about why they went for married men. There was never a question of him leaving his wife, it was very much \’in the moment\’. He respects my schedule, one friend said. It suits me,\” said another. \”He doesn\’t borrow my toothbrush or expect me to stay in watching TV because he can\’t be bothered to go out one weekend. With an affair you know exactly what you\’re going to get from a guy and give back in return, and he can\’t demand any more. Men act different around their mistresses to around their wives. I don\’t want to be a wife. These relationships generally fizzle out when I get bored of the guy,\” added a third friend. \”And that usually happens when they start bring their family in to it. That\’s not my mess to clean up.
Monday, November 06, 2017 ASK any married woman and she will tell you once the ring goes on her husband\’s finger, the other women come out like flies intent on staking a claim, sometimes so blatantly that she\’s left dumbfounded.
Whether the culprits are neighbours, co-workers, or women the man casually encounters, many married men have had to fend off women who had shown little interest while they were single, an experience Raymond F relates. It\’s the strangest thing, he shared with All Woman. I\’ve been married for two years and it doesn\’t get any easier with time. From neighbours to co-workers to exes, they\’ve all come on to me, some very brazenly, and it\’s very unsettling. He said he shares each encounter with his wife, who laughs it off for the most part, but he\’s puzzled nonetheless, and sometimes uncomfortable. It\’s like once the ring went on, an \’open\’ sign appeared on my forehead. One neighbour in particular doesn\’t even hide her interest she will ask me for rides, make inappropriate sexual comments, ask me to come and fix things in her house, and even comment on my body. This would be tolerable and I could pass it off as a joke, but she ignores my wife doesn\’t talk to her, doesn\’t acknowledge her at all.
It\’s well known that married men are regular targets for some single women and they don\’t care that people ascribe labels to them like \’homewrecker\’. When they realise that the man has no intention of leaving his wife or has no interest in them, they just move on to the next victim. And even after suffering from embarrassing public encounters with the wife or the man\’s family, some just will not stop. But what is it that keeps these women going after married men? Some women tell the stories behind this attraction. Olivia F, single: I guess they seem financially stable. Some women believe the myth that only the good ones are married. There is also the belief that sweethearts don\’t have responsibilities, only sex obligations. Chelsea C, single: I think it\’s because most married men appear to have stability in their lives. Alecia B, married: Some women are just envious of the steady and committed relationship between the men and their wives. Alexia R, single: It all comes down to how the man carries himself, especially when he\’s not around his wife.
This misleads some women. Shania T, married: I did it once because of heartbreak. After a bad break-up I was afraid to commit to anyone, and I didn\’t want my partner to bother me about getting serious and settling down. With a married man I didn\’t have to worry about these things. Tamara M, single: It\’s the facade that married men tend to put up. They dress, look, and act as if all is well with them. Some even go as far as boasting about purchases they made for their family. Some women see and hear this and want the man to do that for them too. Joan C, single: Women are attracted to the men\’s achievements. Some of them work extra hard and push themselves to attain certain things to give their family the best of everthing, like a house and a steady career, for example. Latoya A, single: It\’s a competition. She wants to prove to the man that she\’s better than the wife it\’s sort of a validation of how attractive she is. I look better than her, I\’m a better catch, so why is she married and I\’m not? SHARE THIS: