We tend to think of our families as the most important part of our lives. We like to believe that we try our best to please them and try to avoid conflict in any way possible. We see our families as sacred; a lifelong bond which can never be broken. Source: flickr. com
Unfortunately, the reality isn\’t quite so simple. \’ Why does my family hate me? \’ is a question which is cropping up more and more in psychiatrist offices the world over. In each case, personal circumstances will be different. There is no sole reason why someone\’s family may take a dislike to them. However, there are a handful of general reasons which can be considered. Why does my family hate me? Did I do something wrong? In most cases, the person who is being shunned is rarely to blame. As heart-breaking as it sounds, parents can develop a dislike for their children through a myriad of factors. Perhaps you have a sibling who is more intelligent or better-behaved than you. Despite what society likes to believe, many parents do, although it rarely results in aggression towards their other children. Source: flickr. com You may have made choices or embarked on a lifestyle which your parents don\’t approve of.
For some parents, they can see this as a betrayal of their trust, therefore resulting in them showing hostility towards you. Parents are not always the loving creatures we like to think they are. Like everyone else on earth, they are prone to emotional clouding, bad judgments and irrational behavior. Is it all in my head? It is important to look at your circumstances outside of your perceived beliefs. For example, is it just one or two of your family members who you think hate you? Or is it every member of your family? If it\’s only one or two family members, then it\’s likely to be nothing more than a. Unlike our friends, we can\’t choose our family members, meaning we are often stuck with people who we wouldn\’t otherwise choose to associate with. Source: flickr. com Furthermore, look at how these particular people act towards others. If they are happy to make their dislike for you obvious, then it\’s highly likely that they treat other people the same way. Try seeing their actions through the eyes of someone impartial; someone without a blood connection clouding their judgment. We like to believe that our families would never treat us the way they treat people un-related to them, but this is never always the case.
With this mind, it can be easy to make the assumption that your family hates you when in actual fact, it\’s your insecurities being the loudest voices in your head. What can I do? One of the unhealthiest things you can do is to constantly fight for your family\’s approval of you. This can lead you to become a person you aren\’t, making yourself unhappy in the process. It is important to learn to live independently of others. You will go through life and not everyone will take kindly to you – this is something everyone has to learn to live with. Your family are flawed characters just like everyone else, therefore, their problems are their own issues which they must learn to deal with. If they can\’t, then this shouldn\’t be of concern to you. Source: flickr. com If, however, your situation runs deeper than this, then it is in order to discuss your circumstances. Hostility between family members can be very personal affairs, therefore, it is beneficial to speak to someone about your specific troubles. Hi iam a senior in highschool in a small town. I have struggled with, and eating disorders since i was 13 years old.
And my family just doesn t seem to understand what i am going through,they act like its just something that i can automaticly turn off my emotions and be happy but thats not the case. I have 2 younger brothers and a younger sister and they all treat our dog better than they treat me. Whenever either one of them walk by me they always have something rude to say such as psycho, retard, why don t you just die, no one wants you here, I hate you etc. say that i should just ignore it that they will stop but they as in my parents don t ever do anything about it. They always make fun of me about my weight. i weigh 115 lbs and my sister always tells me how nasty i look and i should go into the bathroom and vomit and is always makeing fun of my disorders. This has gotten so horrible bad that i feel like i am not anyone anymore. I don t do anything with the family because i feel that i am not welcome whenever i am in the same room with them they never have anything nice to say everything is always negative. Plz help me you are my last resort.! A: What a sad, sad story. It s hard enough to be struggling with so many inner demons without having to struggle with the family too.
All I can guess is that your siblings are angry that you take up a lot of family energy and that maybe your parents feel helpless to help you. Sometimes when people feel angry and helpless, they would rather blame or exclude the person they can t help than face their own feelings of powerlessness or failure. Whatever the reason, this is a miserable situation all around. No one in this family sounds really happy and you have become the family scapegoat. You didn t say whether or not you are in treatment. If not, you certainly should be. You have far too many troubles for someone who is only in her teens to handle by herself. You re right. You can t just switch off your problems. But a therapist could help you learn to manage your feelings and could work with you and your family to change your role in the family. If you are not seeing a therapist, please talk with your family doctor or your school guidance counselor to help you find one. If you are in treatment, I hope you are telling the therapist what you told me. A therapist can only work with what she or he is told. I wish you well. Dr. Marie