Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female reader, P, writes (20 September 2010): move on, hes not worth your time, he clearly has no consideration for your feelings or he would not have lied! sorry to be blunt, but its true, i was in this situation about 4 months ago. A female reader, P, writes (20 September 2010): He wants to keep you both interested so he can pick and choose who to sleep with. A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Because he likes to have it both ways. My advice is to dump him. A female reader, P, writes (20 September 2010): It does look like he likes you, but he hasn\’t been prepared to change his current situation, and no doubt he has some fabulous excuse, but the bottom line is, for the last 4 months he\’s cheated both you women, and turned you into the other woman, something that he no doubt knew you would not tolerate when he met you. He has lied and decieved you, and you never had a clue, he says he cares and I dont doubt that he does, but he still has the morals of an alley cat, who for 4 months strung you along. Even if he dumps girlfriend, would you want a man like this in your life?
This isn\’t down to him anymore, this is your decision now, I had this happen to me once, realising that he needed 2 women to make him feel whole, made me realise that I was only getting half a man, I wanted a whole one, so i broke off completely, Even now I often wonder how he is, then I remember how he was and wonder how many other women have felt the way he made me feel, I was just a pawn in his game. He got someone else now, and yes, he is still with his poor long suffering oblivious wife. I\’d say continue ignoring him, refuse the flowers, dont let him play with you anymore, he dont play nicely. You have a good set of morals, I think you\’ve done right, so well done you, you\’ll find your prince soon, just see this last one as one of the many frogs you have to kiss first. A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): He needs someone to fall back on. He knows when he\’s on a good number. A female reader, P, writes (20 September 2010): He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He sounds like the type to give no thought to how his actions might affect others, and instead figures two girlfriends are better than one.
Considering the way he\’s been acting, I doubt he\’d respect your decision to stay friends, and would instead continue trying to win you back. It would be best to move on, in my opinion. A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Thank you for your answer to my question. I\’ve never done anything like this before,this is my first time on this site or anything like it. You made so much sense. It drove me lightweight crazy trying to figure out what he was thinking or feeling. so thanks again!!! A reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): It sounds like he likes you as more than a friend, but isn\’t willing to do anything about his current relationship. I think it is up to you what you want from this guy. If you think you could deal with just being friends with this guy, then I think that is okay. But if not, then I think it would be best to let him go. Friendship is fine, but by asking about your male friends it suggests that he is interested in more than that. Which isn\’t fair on you, since he has a girlfriend. You deserve someone who wants to be with YOU and you only.
As long as he is already in a relationship, you will always be second-best, and that will start to hurt. So you could make it clear to him that it is friendship only. but if that is going to be too painful, I think breaking away would be the best thing here. A female reader, P, writes (20 September 2010): sounds like he wants cake and icecream. tell him the ice cream just sold out I\’ve been talking to a guy for a while now and we get along really well. He told me he had broken up with his girlfriend a while back an didn\’t have a gf. We finally decided to hang out and when we did it was nice. We hung out at his house watched movies, cuddled, held hands and kissed, he kept telling me how pretty I was. he didn\’t try anything sexual which I found nice because I felt like he really liked me. The next day he asked if I like him and I said yes and he told me he liked me too. Just recently I found he had a facebook after he told me he didn\’t and it said he was in a relationship with some girl. when I asked him about it he said that it was old and hadn\’t changed it. I then went to his myspace and it changed from single to in a relationship.
I checked out the girls page and her status says she can\’t wait to see her bf. Why would he lie? Its not like he just wants sex he\’s never forced himself on me and we\’ve never slept with each other. He always talks about how he wants to go dancing with me and talks about future dates. Does he really like me? why would he keep lying about having a girlfriend? ohh and apparently they have been dating for like 3 months. I had even told him before that I was looking for a relationship(a bf) and that I don\’t do hook ups or friends with benefits. and he told me he wasn\’t like that and he also wanted a relationship but he wanted to \”have fun and take things step by step first\” I don\’t know what that means. When I found out he had a girlfriend I told him I had a boyfriend just to see what he did or said( I don\’t have a bf) he then got kind of upset, I told him I was joking and that I didn\’t. I asked him what would he do if I did? and he said he\’d stop talking to me. I\’m confused is that why he\’s lied about having a girlfriend because he\’s afraid id stop talking to him?