The best reasons are those that do not involve intense personal needs such as feeling lonely or wanting the self-satisfaction of \”saving\” a child. If your reasons are based on calm thinking and knowing that you can be a positive influence in a child\’s life, you are on the right track. It is OK to want to express love and feel that you will be doing something worthwhile for a child. The key idea is that your actions are for others rather than to fill a personal need. If you can say \”my life is good, I am a reasonably happy person and I care about other people\”, then being a foster parent is an enrichment of an already fulfilled person. This creates a foster parent who can make logical choices, be reasonably objective and keep the child\’s welfare as the number one priority. Here is a list of beliefs and attitudes of people who are likely to have a positive foster care experience. If you are much like the person on the right column, you should think things over and perhaps talk to a professional counselor before applying to become a foster parent.
You are Ready! I care about children and want to share my good fortune. I am kind and loving but can be firm when it\’s required. Foster children have had it tough. I want to make their life a little easier and more fun. I didn\’t have children. By being a foster parent I can share my home and give my time and attention to a worthwhile cause. I did a good job as a parent and know how to work with children. I\’d like to use my skills to help other children. As a foster parent my job is to make this child feel comfortable and accepted in my home. I know that someday the child will leave and that\’s okay. Think it Over! I am depressed and think I could feel better if I had a child to fuss over. I just love children and don\’t feel they should ever be disciplined, scolded, or punished.
These children have been abused and neglected. I want to protect them from their birth family members. I didn\’t have children and feel that having a foster child will fill a lonely void in my life. I don\’t know much about children, but I believe that if you just love them enough everything will be all right. These poor children have been mistreated and I want to protect them or even adopt them so their family never hurts them again.
While the toughest part of choosing to foster a child is to let the youngster go, the ability to make a positive impact on a foster child\’s life is a gift many parents wish to give kids in need. \”I am a foster mom because I feel so blessed to be capable of taking care of my own children. I feel like I have to give back in gratitude for that gift,\” shares. reports showing that siblings experience many emotional benefits with a lower risk for failed placements when placed together.
Foster care makes opening your home to more than one foster child at a time a more likely possibility. \”I was adopted, my father was adopted and I wanted to give other children the opportunity that any child should be given regardless of whether or not I had biological children of my own,\” shares Joanna of Ontario, California. \”When we found out about Joseph, he had siblings and we wanted to try and keep them together so we went the foster care route. \” Whether choosing to adopt abroad or stateside, the costs involved in adoption through a private agency can add up quickly. Although not all foster families adopt, for some, choosing foster care is a more affordable way for parents to reach their ultimate goal. \”It was the most cost-effective option,\” explains. \”Private adoptions are $20,000 to $30,000 whereas foster adoptions are almost free. I also love the fact that there is one less kid in the system. \” Learn about from a foster mom \”Foster care isn\’t a route for the faint of heart or someone who thinks simply opening your home is enough to cure the angst and trauma a child has been through,\” warns foster mom and adoptive parent, RN. \”Expect good and bad days.
Expect a child who needs encouragement to do simple things we all take for granted. But also expect a child who\’s a sponge for knowledge, who wants to please, who wants to belong and matter to someone. Expect love in the simplest form and expect to open your heart and mind to things you never thought a child would have seen, experienced or understood. \” Regardless of the reason these women chose to become a foster parent, the most important thing to remember is that whether foster children are with you for a few days or for the rest of their lives, foster moms make a difference in the life of a foster child.