\”I just don\’t feel like myself without you,\” is probably something you\’ve thought when you\’ve missed someone you care about. This idea randomly popped into my head as I sat alone in my dorm missing my partner. I am not entirely sure if the science behind this is accurate because even the scientists aren\’t sure about the accuracy. Emotions are difficult to understand, and neurotransmitters are difficult to track. So with that said, here\’s my take on things: a layman\’s definition of why you might actually feel like a different person when you\’re away from your significant other (or anyone close to your heart). Biology and psychology teach us that our bodies naturally produce certain chemicals- hormones are produced by glands, and neurotransmitters by the central nervous system. Evolutionarily these chemicals help us to form emotional bonds to be able to maintain group relationships, intimate relationships, and parental relationships. They help keep us alive. Today, there\’s a lot more added to the mix, and as a result there\’s a lot more grey area. The hormones related to \”love\” are estrogen/testosterone, and oxytocin. The neurotransmitters most closely involved are seratonin and dopamine.
Again, we produce all of these chemicals naturally, but when you are with someone you love, they surge. When they surge, your body speeds up to process them all. When you spend an extended period of time with someone you love, you basically become addicted to an elevated level of all of these chemicals, and your body becomes used to processing them all more quickly. If your body is used to producing all of those chemicals, and processing them quickly, can you imagine what happens when you leave the person that causes it? In short, withdrawal happens. Your body stops producing an abundance of seratonin, oxytocin, etc. , and to make matters worse, the chemicals that your body does produce continue to be processed so quickly it\’s as if they were never there. Now you might be wondering, how does this impact one\’s emotional state? Well, in many ways, but it usually mimics symptoms of depression and anxiety. This is why so many people say, \”I don\’t feel like myself,\” or, \”I miss my other half,\” because their body has become used to certain stimulation that they are no longer receiving. If you think about it, that\’s why the honeymoon phase in a romantic relationship feels like such a high at the beginning.
Because that surge is new, and it feels good. They\’re all happy chemicals after all. But just like any drug, your body gets used to it, and it still feels good, you just might need extra every once in a while (hello date night). Anyway, when you\’re ripped from the person that you love, it hurts. It could take months for your body to get back to normal, and every time you see that person in between, the clock is reset. So before you beat yourself up for missing someone so much, remember this: you can\’t help it.
hey, I m new to high existence but I m loving it so far. I m also a psychology major so I figured I d offer my own personal opinion not only from a psychological standpoint but spiritual as well. I am a firm believer in the corny phrase that everything happens for a reason and I believe it goes hand in hand with the belief that everyone is put in your life for a reason. I lost my mom when I was 16 and I constantly miss her, and especially being a girl without her mother, I seek her advice and lessons more than anything. I have received several signs from her that it has fully freaked me out, such as when I first went away to college, I was homesick and didn t think I could handle it, and the next day I was looking through old files and pictures and came across an article she wrote titled Accepting Life s Challenges Helps Us to Move Forward.
I read the article and it was as if she was talking directly to me, and that was exactly the advice I needed. And on the topic of what makes us miss someone, I think its a combination of love, jealousy, lack of familiarity, and cosmic relationships with one another. You can miss this one person because you missed having them in your life due to the love you had for them (as humans we cling to the feelings of love and tend to not want to get rid of the person that reminds us of that feeling), or because you are jealous other people have someone in their life like the person you are missing. It could also be because of a higher purpose we may never understand, or since humans are naturally resistant to change and crave familiarity, anyone who was in your life for a significant amount of time and then suddenly was out of it will lure that missing sensation out of you. This is just my view/experience, no professional research, but I hope it helped figure out your questions!